The Troll Hive has an Arch Nemesis now! We were discussing conquering the neighbors when I mentioned we should put a sign at the end of the drive way saying we were auditioning for arch nemeses. Everyone thought that was a grand idea, but we didn't get to it in a few days. I noticed a friend on facebook talking about being at "The Cove" and then I remembered she knew of a similar domicile that referred to themselves as "Neckbeard Cove". So I asked if they would be interested in being our Arch Nemesis and they agreed and then promptly started discussing battle tactics.
They have a cat named Wilford Brimley who is also called Tank. This provided me much amusement.
I will however familiarize you with the names the people will be called and some of their characteristics.
I will start in one end of the house and move accordingly. The Obnoxious one and TrollDiva. This is a couple. The obnoxious one and I have a mutual agreement not to like each other but we manage to live peaceably enough as we both know where the other stands. He is loud, and most times has no volume control; however, I think this is something he has no control over as it tends to escalate when he get's excited about something. He also calls himself a tool bag and puts effort into being as much of an asshole as possible. TrollDiva is his girlfriend. She is titled TrollDiva for a reason. She is often quiet but very sneaky when it comes to playing tricks on people. She provides most of us great joy because she likes to get The Obnoxious One worked into a frenzy over the smallest things. For example; her red glitter ceiling fan. Imagine Dorothy's slippers from The Wizard of Oz. She will also lock the door when you walk outside, get the DJ to Rick Roll a wedding party, hide your belongings when you aren't looking, and write "Bag of Dicks" In your inventory list on character sheets when you aren't looking.
Next is Dumbell and Coffee Monster. I might change coffee monster later but for now that is fitting enough. This is also a couple. Dumbell named himself by the way. He is a health and fitness whiz who works out regularly and happens to have ADD. I think he'd probably lose his junk if he didn't have his hand on it all the time. His wife is the Coffee Monster. She drinks coffee all the time, as a matter of fact I rarely see her without a coffee in hand. We all make it a goal in life to say and do things to watch them visibly twitch when we short circuit things in their brains. They are so expressive! The other day I went into the living room when Dumbell was playing the Xbox and said to him thoughtfully "Do you know what I like to do sometimes when I'm alone?" I lifted my thumbs and looked at them carefully and then stuck them to my boobs "I like to superglue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex! Raaaaawwwwr!" I even flailed my hands around and pranced around with my legs bent at the knee to make it more convincing.
We have a new addition to the Troll Hive, I haven't decided what I shall call him. He seems to have a fondness for screen names that evoke disgust so I might go along that vein but I'm not sure. He also has not been here long enough for me to get a gauge on an apt name. I was thinking I might refer to him as Iron Man because he has metal rods in his spine. For the moment you will know him as Iron Man until I can think of something more permanent.
Now I have three other people to talk to you about. They frequent here often, and two of them may live here one day so I might as well make the introductions.
The Angry One. He has an infinite amount of rage and everything he says often drips sarcasm. I blame the fact that his mother is British and I think the sarcasm is genetic. He cringes if I move too fast, it makes me happy inside. Sometimes I run at him to watch him flinch. Then I just stop and grin at him stupidly. He likes pancakes. A lot.
Dobby. Dobby is my little brother by choice. We call him Dobby because if and when he moves in he chose a large storage closet and house chores for a reduced rent. He has some backbone but tends to be more of a follower than a leader. I'm tough on him but he's trying to get his crap together. However, this is my little brother here so if anyone says anything bad about him I'll punch them in the face.
The Nord (Like Skyrim, only he actually has Scandinavian heritage and follows a Norse religion). A big hairy guy who always has a serious case of plumbers crack. He is also a chosen little brother. I'm harder on him though because he needs to get his crap together. Again, no one is allowed to be mean to him or I'll kick them in the junk too. We were working together and I noticed his plumbers crack and told him to wash his ass with pimple cream. He said something to the effect of he knew he should to which I quipped "it might as well be pretty if it's going to hang out all day".
Anyway, those are the people that live here and the regulars. I might change names if I think of something more suitable but this will do for the time being.
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