Couples' Quirks

I think every couple has some weird quirk they tend to do with each other. The Man I Will One Day Marry (The Man henceforth) and I are not outside of this observation. Nomming, pinching, licking, staring, and playing dead are all things we have done. Would you like me to explain? No!? I'm going to explain anyway so leave then!

The Man used to lick my eyeball. I have no idea why this habit started, it annoyed me and I overreacted to it and I think that just encouraged him to continue to do so.

Somehow I think my screaming in agonized pain (I know that’s redundant but that's how much that crap hurts!) about the burning his saliva caused simply amused him. So I started licking his eye and it became an eyeball licking war. We would lie in wait and ambush each other only to hold the other down for a moment to lick the eye and then run away laughing like mad.

There was no home base the only time either was safe...was in the bathroom. The area neither one of us will breach for any purpose. We couldn't hide in there forever. There were many brief truces for the sake of avoiding coming-out-of-the-bathroom-ambushes.

These did not last long. The war always: no, inevitably continued.

We had a point where he had licked my eye and was waiting in fear for my revenge. Every time I was close I could stick my tongue out and watch him cringe in momentary fear that I was going to lick his eye.

I'm not sure how long my psychological torture continued. I think perhaps it was only a few days but it could have been as much as two weeks. I was sitting in his lap for a cuddle at one point and threatened to lick his eye, when he laughed at me. He actually laughed. This was not just any laugh; this was not a laugh of joy. This was a mocking laugh. This was the "nya-nya-nya-nya-nya-nya you can't get me kind of laugh". He then proceeded to say:

A glasses shield? The hell you say! Well I let him sit there to think as he would for a few minutes. Honestly, I was taken aback. A glasses shield? Who are you to tell me I can't do something because of a little piece of glass wrapped in wire rims.

Then I slowly leaned in smiling. He still looked smug. I slowed down even more and halted with my mouth almost pressed to the lens of his glasses.

He smirked.

I stuck my tongue out and pressed it to the lens of his glasses and then curled it under the rim and licked his eye. Glasses shields are no match for the tongue-war master.

I haven't really had to worry about him trying to lick my eyes since then. I get the occasional threat but I have a sneaky suspicion he learned his lesson after that one.

Update: The Man has taken this to be a challenge, I now fear for the safety of my eyeballs.