So I was binging and watching The Walking Dead, which by the way, I am now caught up on. When I got to thinking about the mechanics of zombies. I came to the conclusion that zombies just could not be plausible. But before that I was thinking even for them to be slightly possible they'd have to poop. Being as how they work on the most base of brain power then I'm assuming they just walk and poop at the same time like a horse.
I got into a discussion about it with The Man, I can't remember exactly how it went but it was interesting. Essentially, zombies are the dead brought to life with only the most base of human instinct: to eat. The problem that led me to the conclusion they must poop is this: since they are dead nothing in the body is processing anything, so if they continuously eat eventually the stomach will become distended, if they still continue to eat than they would pretty much pop. When I said this The Man pointed that perhaps the zombie disease made them perfect machines with no waste. I pointed out how could a perfect machine be dead? Nothing in the system is moving or working as it should, it couldn't absorb or process the flesh.
So then say the zombie disease causes basic functions to somehow work, like digestion then they would process it but there would probably still be waste, if zombies were getting some kind of nutrition from their diet they probably wouldn't rot, right? So if we wanted perfect zombie eating machines they would need to digest food, and not rot if they continuously ate, and not poop either.
Anyway I'm still confused about it but it would explain why I've never really been a big fan of zombies, it just doesn't seem plausible or workable in any way. There are other fantastic things I see as being within the realm of possibility. Like Werewolves, there are already people with hair disorders so they are furry all over, but I don't think it would be changing at the full moon or anything like that. That's just Bull. Anyway, they probably just shave a certain time and by the time the full moon rolls around all their hair has grown back so they go on an angry rampage because they don't want to shave it all off again. I'd imagine razor burn on your butt cheeks sucks.
Vampires are somewhat possible, not in a supernatural way. There are two diseases, one where a person needs blood and another where they are essentially allergic to the sun. Imagine one poor soul has both of these diseases. What a bummer. Can't go out in the sun, crave blood. I'd imagine people would find that rather strange and fall on old habits, despite the fact this poor person just has terrible luck. He or she would likely be chased by a mob of ignorant and very angry people.
So for me werewolves and vampires are likely exaggerated truths but I don't understand zombies. I read a lot on it you have no idea, some believe it stems from voodoo, or hoodoo which is interesting. And others think it stem from unsure medical practices where the living were buried. For a while they even installed bells so if a person "woke up dead", they could pull the rope and hopefully someone would come and un-bury them.
So for me when it comes to zombies I am convinced the most logical thing is that they get distended bellies and pop like a balloon. Or that there is some zombie poop in the road that movies don't acknowledge.
So how do you like my Zombies? I took some time with these, probably not the best but-hey-at least you get the visual.
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